I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
