How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Buhtt sex?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
