i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
