just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
