the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My brain says no but my pants say off.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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