Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize