Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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