Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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