That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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