A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
