girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
