so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
should my penis look like a turkey
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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