and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
