At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Drunk is not a location!
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize