what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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