make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
