No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize