Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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