biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
You don't make any sense
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