I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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