Where are you?
In a non slutty way
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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