Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
