When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
