a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
