What a fucking waste of an outfit
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize