Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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