So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
