So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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