I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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