I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
No subtext here. People are naked.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
