I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
