Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
