it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
