I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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