We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I had to cum in my sink.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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