Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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