mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
