I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize