I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
