You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
