So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
