hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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