Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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