I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
