Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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