I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
