There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I need moral support for this bender
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
