school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
