i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I would ride that face into the sunset
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
