Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Randomize
