Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
if only i could text you this smell
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Randomize