If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize