Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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