I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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