I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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