and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
