So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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