i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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