You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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