it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
