So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
