I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
The Olympian is in my bed
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
